Will this ever end?

I’m currently at point 5 on the enneagram and it feels like it’s never going to end.

In the past, before the Enneagram came into my life, I would become overwhelmed and lose focus at this stage in the creative process of a big project. I would start to take longer to get even simple tasks done. I’d also have far too many irrelevant tasks on my to-do lists. Burn-out was brutal and very often I’d just end up giving up.

Point 5 is one of those moments on the enneagram where it absolutely requires the MOST attention and focus to get through it, but people make it waaay harder than it needs to be.

Point 5 is where you finally take action and do all the necessary prep work to set yourself up for success before going out and performing the act. 

In a kitchen setting it’s the food prep stage before cooking the meal (point 6) which consists of taking stock of what you have on hand and running through the grocery list and recipe multiple times to ensure you have all you need, 

to cleaning and putting dishes away to ensure you have all the dishes you need available,

to slicing and dicing and measuring and warming the oven,  

to setting up an assembly line of the ingredients to be ready to plop into the pot at the appropriate time.

In what I’m currently doing, which is launching my enneagram workshop, point 5 consists of setting the dates, writing the lesson plans, creating a customer avatar, creating freebies, writing the sales page, creating the space where the lessons will be housed, structuring an email launch, structuring a social media launch, etc etc. 

At this point it’s common for the to-do list to grow. The creation of the to-do list starts at point 1 and it’ll be much shorter up until you get to point 5. Once you start tackling it at point 5, it can regrow and multiply like hydra heads. Never fear! You can conquer it.

Now that I have this handy map by my side, I can see how far away the finish line is, which is very reassuring and encourages me to keep up the pace.

(Btw, point 8 is where you actually can see the finish line in the real world, but through time travel you can see the finish line at any point on the map. Very cool.)

It reminds me of how I am with running. Though I know it’s good for me and I really like the results I see in my body from a regular practice, I absolutely loathe running. I especially loathe it when I have no clue how much further I have to go. I’m more likely to complete the miles when I have milestone markers to keep track of, or a timer going, to let me know how much longer I need to endure for. This is also how I used to feel when trying to complete big projects in the past without the enneagram.

The other cool thing about having this handy tool is that I have finally overcome my attachment to perfection, because I can see that the only way to make an event occur is to actually just do it, whether you feel ready or not. And now that I know how to time travel with the enneagram I can see far enough into the future to know that there will be a next round, a next opportunity, to improve upon a previous outcome, but that improvement can only happen if I have a first outcome to begin with. Therefore I clearly see the necessity for just making the first mark, so to speak. I can improve the mark later with a second, third, fourth, and onward round, but the initial mark has to be there. Otherwise there can’t be improvement.

In the past, before I understood this - like, not just knew this intellectually but actually understood this so deep within my being that I finally accepted it - I would let fear of imperfection prevent me from putting my work out into the world. I thought I needed to study more, to practice alone more before ever allowing my work to come out into public light. Thus creativity died within me.

This is actually a result of not fully clearing either point 2, 3, or 4 and attempting to jump straight to point 5 (or 6). This is a big reason for getting stuck in the enneagram, and the creative process. If you can’t clear point 5 it’s usually for one of two reasons:

If it’s the first reason, have no fear. You’ll get through this if you just keep going.

If it’s the second reason, you will never clear point 5. The only thing you can do is retrace your steps (this is why having this map is handy!) and find the previous incomplete and absolutely necessary work, and complete it. 

No whining, just do it. You have to or you will never finish,

and you’ll either end up giving up,

or you’ll become one of those people who just talks about their dreams and never actually manifests them,

and you’ll grow resentful and bitter, even though you’re the one not taking responsibility for it,

you might even develop delusional beliefs that if you were meant to actually do this thing you want to do, it would somehow be handed to you - no effort required.

This is equivalent to someone saying they’re going to start going to the gym to get fit, and even going out to buy a new, cute gym outfit,

and then they go to the gym, snap a selfie for proof,

but after five reps on each arm with a 5 Lb dumbbell, barely breaking a sweat, they decide this is too hard or boring, and peace out after ten minutes.

Then they sulk when they don’t see a different reflection in the mirror,

so they

You have to break a sweat to get results.

However, you also need to know the correct actions to break a sweat over in order to get the exact results you’re wanting.

Back to the example about the person going to the gym: they did go to the gym, and technically they did lift weights. However they didn’t have the discipline to do a long enough workout and they didn’t have the focus to figure out what exactly they needed to be doing in that workout. They probably didn’t even have a real idea of a goal in mind. They just knew they wanted to look like some IG fitness influencer. Unfortunately that’s not enough for goal setting, creating intentional habits, and improving oneself.

This is why it’s beneficial to have a tool like the enneagram to help you map out and complete all the necessary prep work, step-by-step, to set yourself up for success. All of creation that happens in the universe is done in a specific order starting with the necessary building blocks. You. Can’t. Create. Out. Of. Order.

So going back to our person wanting to get fit. If they placed their goal on the enneagram, they would have had the ability to look forward and backward in time to 

develop a clearly defined intention, 

know precisely what resources are needed for actually seeing the process through to attainment of said goal, 

make the essential internal assessment to know precisely what will need to be transformed to become the type of person who can attain this desired goal, 

have sufficiently prepped themselves for responding to any obstacle that may challenge their progress, 

and become a force to be reckoned with that can power through all the necessary action steps for getting themselves to the gym, water in hand, motivation and focus on lock, ready to leave with a different hairdo and a different color shirt and in a few weeks a visibly different reflection in the mirror.

So in order for me to successfully complete point 5 in this launch, hopefully I have moved past my fears of imperfection and being seen, and have sufficiently transformed my being into one who can embody the role of teacher and representative of my creative work. 

And in order for you to complete point 5 in your work, you should come to my enneagram workshop starting in January and learn the proper way to do it to guarantee completion. It’ll be 10 weeks of live time with me teaching you each step of the enneagram and helping you create your own 9-point plan for whatever goal you’re wanting to accomplish.

More details to come!

❤️‍🔥 Kayla